*TW: self-harm, suicidal thoughts
The door slams shut,
You close your eyes,
Pitch black darkness begins to enclose you,
A spark far away,
A glimmer of light piercing your eyes,
The echoes of a voice ringing through your ears,
The uneven rhythm of your heart.
Your breath stopping.
You feel it all,
like an arrow piercing through your already broken heart.
You pick up the knife, hoping you could end it,
but you see it again, you see the light.
Reaching out your hand, hoping you could grasp it.
Failing, failing once again.
You remember the blood trickling down your face,
Your hands clenching, hoping to fight back,
But you remember never throwing the punch,
You hide.
That’s when it began, the cuts, the pills,
and the pieces of your heart breaking away.
You're still alive,
you roll the pill over your bloody hands,
One more, one more and it’s over.
But you never swallow.
Why not end the pain?
Why not end the horror?
Why not end the suffering?
Because maybe, maybe it’ll get better.
You see it again,
but this time you don’t stop,
You run until you catch it,
You smile, smile for the first time.
The light disappears into thin air,
Gone, but what it gave was something you’ll always remember.
Despite your sorrow,
You stare at the empty space where it was,
You know what you need to do,
You know what you need to say,
And you're glad that all those times you wanted to end it,
You didn’t.
This time you’ll be the one to shut the door and open a new one.